Don’t Tread on My Travelers’ Rights

In honor of Election Day in the United States, when people from all over the country celebrate our right to vote by going out and choosing our leaders, we present this (slightly irreverent) Travelers’ Bill of Rights.

1. Travel companies, whether tour operators, cruise lines, hotels or tourist boards, shall make no law prohibiting travel reviews, or abridging the freedom of travelers to tell others about their trips, good or bad.

2. A well-packed suitcase is necessary to the success of a trip; therefore, the right of the people to carry their (modestly sized) luggage onto an airplane without hindrance shall not be infringed.

3. No travelers shall, if they have paid a fair amount, be quartered in any hotel room that is plagued by bed bugs.

4. The right of travelers to be secure in their person, papers and belongings, against pickpockets and thieves in public places, shall not be violated. And no law keeper shall maintain, upon a traveler reporting a crime, a blame-the-victim attitude.

5. No tourist shall be compelled to wear a silly outfit or act foolish while visiting any attraction or on any tour, nor shall any traveler be subject to street vendors loudly trying to push their wares on them.

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6. At all tourist attractions, the visitor shall enjoy the right to a speedy entrance, and to be informed up front of all the charges and fees associated with the site and related experiences.

7. On tours, where the size of the group exceeds 20 people, the right to separate from the group if they are annoying shall be preserved, and no traveler may force his or her presence upon another during meals without the specific consent of the diner.

8. Excessive walking shall not be required, nor shall uninformative lectures from bored tour guides reciting names and dates be inflicted.

9. The powers delegated to travel companies, including any rules and regulations, shall not infringe on the basic human rights of travelers such as working toilets and clean drinking water.

10. The enumeration in the Bill of Rights, of these rights, shall not be construed to deny other rights retained by travelers.

— written by Dori Saltzman