Before you take to the air, you’ll have to survive the notorious airport-security line, manned by America’s most-loved government agency, the TSA. Between vigorous patdowns and creepy body scanners, it’s not always fun. But at least we can share in the humor of our collective experience. Here is every thought you have while waiting to get groped by the TSA.
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If I pretend I'm a child flying alone, will they let me cut to the front?
If I pretend I'm a child flying alone, will they let me cut to the front?
Did I remember to pack my thong?
Just play it cool. Act normal. Act normal.
If I scan the code to learn more about knives, guns, and hammers, I'm definitely getting selected for additional screening.
Since when are hot peppers a gel? Please don't take. Give back now please. You are going to eat those, aren't you.
People who personally experienced the glamorous golden age of air travel must be silently weeping at the current state of modern flying. But hey, at least they can keep their light jackets on.
Yes, I was selected for PreCheck! Best day of my life. Thanks for giving me back my basic right to wear shoes, TSA!
Why do I feel like the woman in this sign is judging me?
If someone points me out as a suspicious character, I think I could outmaneuver Segway Cop.
I've made it! It's party time. Where's the Cinnabon?
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