20 Most Shocking Reviews Ever Written

"Circle Eight of Hell"

"I can't decide if Penn Station is Circle Four (prodigal and miserly people) or Circle Eight (frauds, p*mps, and seducers) of Hell, as described by Dante. I am inclined to go with Circle Eight because those souls were forced to live in excrement while being stuffed into holes! Hmm, sounds familiar.

However, I truly feel that Penn Station should be deemed a new circle—Circle 10. Circle 10 is clearly for people that live in NJ but commute to NYC.

Sunken, crowded, and poorly laid out, Penn Station can and will drive any commuter mad. 'Your train is on Track 9.' I run to Track 9. Um, no train! Where is train? Oh yes, the train is on Track 4!

Who does those announcements anyway? Is it a robot? If so, it's a very old robot … maybe Rosey from The Jetsons? *Sigh*

I have too much time on my hands, waiting for my train…"

—Penn Station, Reviewed by Jackie N. on Yelp

"Maggots Under The Toilet Seat"

"This is the filthiest hotel I've ever stayed at. The first room we were put in had MAGGOTS under the toilet seat. The room we ended up in had thick mold all over the bathroom walls, the toilet was not attached to the floor and slid around when you sat on it, and water pumped out of the back pipe when it flushed. It was the most disgusting hotel experience ever."

—Hotel Carter, Reviewed by Sydney H. on Yelp

"Actual Chunk of Poop on My Bedspread"

"For the price I paid to stay on New York's Upper West Side, I was surprised it wasn't worse. The room smelled like armpits and years of filth, but there weren't any creepy-crawlies, and I found the staff to be most gracious and helpful.

I could have done without the blood-stained mattress and the (actual) chunk of poop on my bedspread, but I didn't expect the Hilton.

Overall, in a pinch (or if I couldn't afford better, as was the case this time) I would stay there again. They were quite happy to give me new bedspreads when I reported the poop."

—Sky Hostel, Reviewed by luckynewkitty on TripAdvisor

"Graveyards Are a Less Creepy Place to Sleep"

"So, looking for a NY getaway on the cheap? Have I got a suggestion for you! [Sleep on] the streets, or hey, just ride the subway all night. Even the Internet wouldn't want to publish pictures of my feet, legs, arm, or back, due to the insane amount of bedbug bites I have on me. In roughly 72 hours, I was able to get about nine hours of sleep. The room is smaller than your closet. 'I don't have a closet,' you say? It's still bigger!

My first night, it was roughly 90-plus degrees in there. But that was the comfortable part. The ceiling is a screen door. There was a guy constantly sitting right outside my room who looked like the evil love child of Mickey Rourke and Gary Busey. The gent 'sleeping' next to my room loved to wake up at 5:00 every morning and hock phlegmies for an hour or so straight. And that is when he stopped snoring. He also liked to cut some long gas passages, the last one I clocked at roughly 23 seconds. My guess, he no more wanted to use their bathroom than I or the rats [did].

The rats, you don't see them so much as hear them, and I think they were wary of the surroundings as well. The ladies were kind of nice, namely because they're hookers. The evil creep behind the cage was somehow in cahoots with them. One guy liked to sit in the lobby and sleep and drool ropes. I also saw him going into the bathroom, his pants were not part of the deal, but he did have his hands over his crotch and buttocks as the bathroom trip clearly got started before he could get there.

The shower was scary, and if you can sit on their toilets, you will likely get leprosy. And then, the bedbugs. Oh, the bedbugs are RAMPANT! In my eight to nine hours of sleep over three days, I was able to get hundreds, yes hundreds, of bites. And I never once pulled back the sheets. No one offered to wash or change them, so you can still see my bloodstains if you go now. It is not just that they have bedbugs, they are the SOURCE of the bedbugs.

New York is supposed to be having an issue with them, and if the DOH would stop accepting bribes and burn the place down, then burn the ashes, the bedbug problem would likely end. Not just in New York but the whole wide world. Seriously folks, graveyards are a less creepy place to sleep. They don't mention their name on Craigslist, but it is the $30 ad with the tiny bed. It's so bad, you may just want to avoid Brooklyn altogether. I'm going to go write a horror movie about the place, and you know what? None of it would be fiction."

—Sunny's House Brooklyn, Reviewed by DemianC on TripAdvisor

"The Cheapest Way to Commit Suicide"

"Probably the cheapest way to commit suicide. Some of their drivers don't even have a valid driver's license. I don't understand how they are allowed to operate."

—Fung Wah Bus, Reviewed by s g. on Yelp

"Buffalo Bill's House in Silence of the Lambs"

"When I arrived, I was greeted by a building that reminded me of the house in The Amityville Horror. The comparison with horror films doesn't end there as the room reminded me of Buffalo Bill's house in Silence of the Lambs … and I'm talking about the room with the girl and the dog in the basket.

Well, we had three wise men in our group who immediately said they were out of here as the place resembled the business end of a funeral home … wise decision, lads! My spirit of adventure prompted me to stay … how bad could it be? Pretty bad is the answer. Let me explain…

This place gives hostels a bad name … come to think of it, it would give a public toilet a bad name. The rooms are desperate, the pillow was like a [piece of] Wrigley's chewing gum, and the duvet like a used j-cloth. Sleeping in this place would give lads away on stags a great excuse when they return to their wives/girlfriends as you WILL be itching every area of your body for a week. I suggest that visitors sleep on the pool table in the downstairs 'lounge.'

The showers are filthy and smell like a down and out's underpants. You might as well bring two buckets and put them beside your bed. The management was obviously running a Blue Peter-style 'Who can overfill the toilet' competition. I'd like to congratulate the person who used the toilet after me as they most certainly won … just hope the prize wasn't an extra night's stay. I recommend holding off and using the toilet at Cardiff Airport … it was like the Four Seasons compared to that dump.

The surroundings of the hostel are like an extra level in Call of Duty. No more to say on that front!

The management couldn't really care less so don't bother complaining. You'll get the response we did: 'What do you expect for 17 per night?' (Somewhere I won't catch dengue fever or bubonic plague would be nice.) When my key wouldn't open the door to my palace I was told that I should just wander into another dorm to have a kip … I can see that idea catching on in establishments worldwide … wake up in some room and some punter is in your double bed with you and your missus because his card wouldn't work … nice!

The Breakfast Room is like feeding time at the zoo. If you want to replicate the experience, [watch an] Attenborough documentary on monkeys jumping all over the place with jam and moldy bread all over the place.

Will I be back? Not in this life but perhaps if I get reincarnated as a rat or a large cockroach I will darken their door again … but they won't be getting 17 a night out of me that's for sure!"

—Nomad, Reviewed by Stephen365 on TripAdvisor

"All of the Paintings Are So Old"

"So, like, we were so excited to go to this museum because it was on so many websites. Well, we were absolutely disgusted and felt so ripped off. They totally fool you with all the new stuff outside, like all the cool glass stuff and swirly things and new, clean stuff. THEN when you go inside, IT IS DISGUSTING. There are literally, like, all old things, and it is dark and so, so old. All of the paintings are so old, they are cracked—SICK! Who cares, none of it even looks real or anything. What a joke. It's like, 'Hey, France, way to trick us into thinking it was going to be a new, clean museum but then we get inside and it is "tow up!"' They obviously lure you in with the good stuff and then you are in this musty piece of junk. Like, you're FRANCE … a country. Why did you do it on the cheap, why not knock the junky crap building down and start over? It was such a rip. Fail."

—Musee du Louvre, Reviewed by Franq F. on Yelp

"I Knew You Would Not Change the Sheets"

"I stayed at the Royal British Hotel on Monday, 6th August, 2007. When I went to my room, I went to fill the kettle up and heard a rattle, and there was a 1p coin found in the kettle. I sorted that problem out and filled up the kettle, and when I turned my cup up the right way I found another penny on the saucer. When I went to put on the TV with the remote, I found that there were no batteries in it. Later on that night, as I pulled back the sheets to get into bed, I found a note in my bed saying, 'HA! HA! I knew you would not change the sheets.' I would not stay here again as it was not worth the 98.50 pounds … including the breakfast, which was nice apart from being covered in FAT."

—Royal British Hotel, Reviewed by lazytownLutonEngland on TripAdvisor

"I Have SECRET CLEARANCE"

"Okay, as an enduring symbol of America and as a beautiful landmark in the New York skyline, she's great. But the tour was the most miserable experience of my trip to New York and the biggest-ever waste.

We had reservations for the ferry but still had to wait in line for almost an hour in 20 degree weather. We got into the ferry terminal, and there was an airport-style screening process. So we're all still freezing from the weather outside, we had to take off our shoes and all that, then a cramped boat ride, standing in line to get off, then more lines at the statue. Then came the most intense security screen I've ever had and I've had secret clearance. We had to walk into this booth that shoots air at you and analyzes it for particles of explosive. I have SECRET CLEARANCE! Don't make me do that sh*t. My hangover was killing me by this point.

And this was all to wait in another line to go take a 10-minute tour with Ranger Dan. We couldn't walk up the inside of the statue. If someone was to blow it up, wouldn't the base be the best place to be anyway? And we were so close to it that it just looked like a green wall.

I was so pissed off. If I hadn't been able to hang out in the wheelhouse of the ferryboat with my East Coast Union Brothers and ditch the fam for a while, I'd probably have kicked some little tourist kid with chapped lips off the boat."

—Statue of Liberty National Monument, Reviewed by Jimmy C. on Yelp

"It's Time to Forgive Yourself"

"Honestly, we stayed in the hotel not in spite of, but because of, recent news. It has a rich history of suicide, violent crime, and now mysterious water-tank death, so we thought it would be a bit of a thrill-seeking expedition.

The real horror in this hotel is the treatment of the guests. Far overpriced for the furniture-less craphole that each room is, I feel like the whole business model is set up to take advantage of tourists who don't know better. The 'Premium Queen Room,' despite being totally barren, was coated in some allergenic dust that made it difficult to sleep. The pillows on the bed were decorative couch pillows. The door to the room was damaged, appearing as if some previous attempts to kick it in had been made. At no point in a guest's stay would it ever be possible to attain any level of comfort in these tiny rooms.

Finally, what really cements the one star is the behavior of the employees. We were respectful and polite through the entire stay, but were treated like a burden to the establishment. I felt like, as we did not fall into the native-to-LA key demographic, they realized we would rapidly realize the scam they were running, and gave us icy treatment as a result.

In conclusion, spend the money on a real hotel. I don't know what you've done where you think you might deserve a tiny, barren room with unfriendly staff and noisy, awful surroundings, but it's time to forgive yourself and stay at a DoubleTree, or just sleep under a bridge or something."

—The Cecil Hotel, Reviewed by Phillip W. on Yelp

"Like It Was Set Up by Saturday Night Live or The Onion"

"DEFINITELY THE WORST AIRLINE EVER … almost like it was set up by Saturday Night Live or The Onion just to see how low one could go.

They exist only to frustrate, infuriate, demean, and price gouge the customers, while providing a level of service that cannot be matched even by the Eastern European airlines of the '70s.

Definitely skip this one EVERY TIME, and opt for the ones that may seem more expensive on paper. Trust me, once you pay up all of Spirit's added fees, you will be wishing you bought a ticket on a legitimate carrier."

—Spirit Airlines, Reviewed by Alex A. on Yelp

"Barely Adequate for a Homeless Shelter"

"The Bowery House is a homeless shelter only. The rooms are 5 feet by 6 feet and the beds are 5 feet 6 inches long. Barely adequate for a homeless shelter. I don't know why Expedia lists this place."

—The Bowery House, Reviewed on Expedia

"In Case I Never Make It Off the Bus Alive"

"I'm on the Lucky Star on my way to Boston from NYC and thought I should write the review now just in case I never make it off the bus alive. Please heed my advice and spend an extra $20 for Megabus or Greyhound/Peter Pan. Trust me, you'll be grateful in the end.

As I'm writing this review, there is dirty water from a busted air-conditioning system dripping on my shoulder. And it's not only me: A woman two rows in front of me is draped in a towel, three rows in front of her a couple is trying to plug a leak with their own sweater, and the driver's seat is completely soaked. Four seats are roped off and plastic bags filled with brown water are suspended from the ceiling. Apart from the broken air conditioner, the smell of the bathroom is permeating throughout the bus. I've traveled in the third world and I don't mind roughing it out when I have to—but this just isn't worth it.

I'm amazed at the number of three-star reviews for this company. I'll give them zero to one. I've had great experiences with Apex [Bus] (from NY to Philadelphia) and am not opposed to Chinatown buses as a way to get from one place to another. Help me to boycott Lucky Star and maybe they'll change their ways (and fix their broken air conditioner!).

This review isn't exaggerating anything at all. Please stay away from Lucky Star.

(Addition from Boston: We made it, but my bag, which was in the overhead compartment inside the bus, was soaked with water—getting half of my clothes wet. Lucky Star Bus = very bad way to begin a vacation.)"

—Lucky Star Bus, Reviewed by Beau W. on Yelp

"Whore Alley"

"Horrible location right on Whore Alley. Rooms are small and the TV has bad picture. Beds are uncomfortable and small."

—Hotel Barbara, Reviewed by Jim on Priceline

"Worst Vacation Rental Ever"

"WORST VACATION RENTAL EVER! We rented this house as a base to visit with East Coast family. This is what we experienced:

• '5-star hotel' means you should be OK with emptying the outhouse bucket, a full garbage bin, rationing water, washing dishes, using VHS tapes, and running into town to buy basic requirements like drinking water and coffee filters. This house was not clean! It came with popcorn, potato-chip remnants, and dust bunnies under the tables and toast crumbs under the toaster.
• 'Warm and friendly' means the owner lives on the property. She came and went as she pleased—typically, to tell us not to use water as she was not proactive in getting the well refilled from prior tenants' use.
• 'Sleeps 10–12' means that the expectation is six guests.
• 'Everything else is there in abundance' means that there is so much 'stuff' that you will be tripping over yourselves during your stay. We were also expected to return everything to its original place but with so many impractical, illogically placed and inconvenient knickknacks, objets d'art, and just plain kitsch, it was really difficult to determine where things were supposed to go.
• 'Ample RV parking' means you can bring one but you will incur additional charges.
• 'Connected to technology' means an AM/FM radio, a 15-inch tube TV/VHS combo, an old selection of movies, and no air-conditioning or circulation fans. We should have treated this house rental like a car rental—grabbed a pen/paper and gone through the property, the rental contract, and the website with a fine-tooth comb. We did not and were blamed for previous tenants' misuse and general property neglect. The owner quickly brushed shortcomings off to 'life in the country.' Unfortunately, these shortcomings include safety issues like no rails on most of the deck, broken chairs/tables, no handrail on the stairs leading downstairs, unsecured carpets, and dirty dishes in the cupboards. We were also blamed for various items like a non-working dishwasher, a broken dryer, patio chairs not returned to their previous place on the deck, my brother's RV hookup, a propane-tank refill, and other things. WORST VACATION RENTAL EVER!"

Owner's Response: "We only receive rave reviews from our guests, some of whom return because they love the property so much. Almost all guests are courteous and honest and respect our property. In this case, our property was destroyed through carelessness and negligence and these guests only began to complain when the cost of damages was taken from the damage deposit which didn't cover all of the expenses we incurred. They burned a fuse in the clothes dryer by repeatedly not emptying the lint bin, and after one repair the dishwasher had to be completely replaced because it had been so gunked up with food and refuse. Towels were strewn through the gardens, and they threw cutlery and dishes into heaps wherever they pleased. Their many dogs ran amok and tore the screen on the patio door. And they deliberately peeled paint from the outdoor furniture. They even managed to tear holes through the blanket throw on the sofa. In addition to their group of eight or 10 they brought an extra family of six with more dogs who arrived in a big RV and expected to plug in for free and use all of the facilities and water. I would warn any other owners to beware of this unhappy group. Thankfully, guests like this are not the norm."

—Nova Scotia Vacation Rental, Reviewed by V&F on VRBO

Proceed at Your Own Risk

"OK, the pyramids are impressive and worth seeing.

But, when we went to see them earlier this month, our car was hit three times by young guys trying to block the road up to the pyramids. Some guys tried stepping in front of our car to block the way. Our driver nicely misinformed us that they were very keen to show us around (although a couple of them had sticks and their expressions were angry). Thank goodness we had not decided to visit the pyramids on foot, from the Hotel Movenpick where we were staying nearby—it would have resulted in us getting accosted or robbed or beaten up. At the pyramids themselves, the sellers and hawkers were like flies to honey, it was hard to shake them off, and [they tried] every trick in the book in order to cheat and deceive us.

I would strongly advise giving the pyramids, and Cairo, a miss. I would not be surprised if [Cairo] has worse civil unrest in the future. This visit to the pyramids was like night and day compared to a couple years ago. Proceed at your own risk!"

—Pyramids of Giza, Reviewed by Antares2010 on TripAdvisor

"Porn Activities That I Have Never Seen in My Life"

"Oh my goodness—this place was a disaster! I can't believe it still exists. I have traveled in third-world countries with bare lightbulbs and hole-in-floor toilets but they were better than this place! I saw cockroaches everywhere—in the refrigerator, bathroom floor and walls, in the bed, one ran across my face! I sat up all night with the light on to try to keep them away and still remember the absurd choices on TV with porn activities that I have never seen in my life! (Clowns, animals—you name it.) It was a hellhole. The front desk said that they would fog for the roaches if I wanted, but then where were we supposed to sleep? You can't inhale that stuff. I agree about the very bizarre neighbors. If you stayed here, you would remember and regret it for the rest of your life. It IS that bad!"

—Senton Hotel, Reviewed by noroachhotel on TripAdvisor

"I Have Carried This with Me for At Least 10 Years"

"Not a good review, sorry, but I have carried this with me for at least 10 years. When ordering coffee at the Eiffel Tower I noticed my cup was half full. I asked if it could be topped up when a sullen waitress did it under duress and handed it to me, bashing it on the counter, saying, 'No more!' I was mortified that one of the biggest tourist attractions in the world could treat customers that way."

—Eiffel Tower, Reviewed by Claudia W on TripAdvisor

"Pee Coming Out of Your Sink"

"Disgusting ship … should never be used again.

Alright, where to start with this ship. This is a long review but having terrible guest service and pee coming out of your sink deserves something long. When we first went through embarkation—it was a breeze and I could not wait to get on the ship and have some FUN on the 'Fun Ship' since this was our first time with Carnival Cruise Lines. When finally arriving on the ship and looking at the inside of the ship, it seemed somewhat of an '80s scene but it was OK.

We found our room and quickly noticed that we had four girls in a three-person bedroom. Which is not what the Carnival agent told me I was picking when I ordered my room. We went ahead and put on our bathing suits and went outside to see the ship leave before we went to Guest Services about this problem. After departing, we went straight to Guest Services where they told us that all we could get was a trundle bed. This would have been okay if the Carnival agent would not have told us that we would have two twin beds and two twins coming out of the wall. After going back and forth with Catalina, the ever-so-rude guest-service rep, we asked to speak to the manager.

She then said to us, 'You don't want to talk to the manager, she will be mean to you. I will not go get her.' WAIT! Is this actually guest service!? NO! I am in the hospitality industry and will be graduating with a Hospitality Management Degree this May. This is NOT OK! Later, George, another rude guest-service member, asked us, 'Do you even know the definition of a trundle bed? Like do you know what it is?' Yes, we know what a trundle bed is, we have not been living under a rock for our whole lives. After speaking with several (rude) guest-service reps we finally reach Giselle, a manager. She was not nice—although she did not give us the four person. We ended up, four girls with a lot of luggage, with a trundle bed. It was pretty clean in the room so it wasn't that bad until we had PEE coming out of our sink, but I will handle that later.

After our first horrific incident I was pretty sure that I would never cruise with Carnival again and stick with Royal Caribbean (which is what I normally cruise). The food was not very good, ever. Mediocre at best. The only meal of the day I would thoroughly enjoy was breakfast. The mahimahi on the last night of the cruise was close to the consistency of steak. I normally just ate pizza or salad every day because that's the only thing I could count on to be OK. The workers were worthless for the most part. Their answer for everything was, 'I don't know.' How do you not know things about what you're working and living on? [They] could not even give directions on how to get to the gangway. WORTHLESS.

Day 2 was not bad because we were stopped at Key West for a couple hours. Key West was amazing and I would love to take a trip solely to Key West—simply beautiful. Coming back onto the cruise was kind of a letdown, but I was going to give Carnival another chance.

Day 3 we went to Cozumel, which was nice. However, it was too windy and [there was] too much undertow to get into the water at Playa Del Mia. So we just sat around, had drinks (from the open bar), and took plenty of pictures. I liked the fact that we stayed until around 9:30 p.m. in Cozumel because we also got to experience Fat Tuesdays, which was TONS of fun!

The next day was the day at sea. It was very relaxing yet cold! Had to wrap up in our towels! That day was the day that we encountered pee in our sink. I seriously wish I could post a picture of this incident because I have one. Anyways, one of the girls was using the restroom and had the water running and it was a brownish-yellow color. We let it run for about eight minutes and it stayed like this. So, we stopped up the sink and let the water run in it so that we could take a picture. I seriously want to vomit thinking about this situation. It was simply that disgusting. Smelled like pee and everything. We went straight to guest services where we talked to George, yet again. We told him and showed him the picture that we took. He said, 'Oh yes, we have had other complaints about that. You have to let it run for a little bit and it will get better.' We told him that we let it run for close to 10 minutes. And we wanted to have an engineer come check it out. He said OK. We asked him why it was doing this, because this is simply disgusting. He beat around the bush a little but essentially said this in short: 'The pipes get loose and the engineers have to tighten them.' Then he said a lot of unnecessary things, and then he said this: 'Our storage tanks have gotten mixed up so you will eventually get clean water.' Whoa whoa whoa, wait? So, pretty much, I have been drinking the water and brushing my teeth with water that gets mixed up with the USED toilet water? This was the last straw. I was disgusted. Obviously I could not brush my teeth for the rest of the time on the cruise. This has NEVER happened to me before on multiple other cruises by Royal Caribbean and Celebrity. Carnival has some serious things to change after all of their problems with not just this ship.

I think I hit most of the terrible things that happened on this cruise. I still had fun when hanging out with the fellow cruisers—but everything else about the situation was terrible. Wish I would have cruised Royal [Caribbean]."

—Carnival Imagination, Reviewed by CaliCurls91 on Cruise Critic

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